Showing posts with label confident. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confident. Show all posts

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Love is unpredictable

Recently, i saw alot of of my friend get engaged, broke up with boyfriend, get married.

It was somehow very very surprise for me, during my age of 18. My cousin's cousin get married because of pregnant. Sign, should i said that's too early? Or am not that open?
Maybe is just me myself, i think that getting marry in 18-20 is still too young for me.
While i am still enjoying my life with no worry with no pressure to take, no burden to carry.
I got to tie myself with another 1 forever? Hmmm...

Some of my friend broke up. The relationship was not like 1 year or 1 year plus.
Is like 4 years minimum. It was very shocking!
In my thought, i always wanted to find a person that i could walk through until the end of my life.
I thought the relationship will be maintain after 2 years and he might be the one that i can hold forever.
But, in the reality, it is not what i thought.
The longer the relationship go, the higher the risk of broke up.

Many of my friends, those who i thought, or not just me. That everyone thought that they will be getting married very soon. Or fore sure they will marry in future.
However, they are the one who will not marry or be together at last.

Throughout the experiences or the witnesses that i have gone through.
This broke up case that keeps happening around me, makes me questions myself.
Am i going on the right way? I am the person that wish to have everything plan and wish it happen as what i plan.
If it never goes what i thought, better for it not to start.

Every time we talk about future. It really seems that we have a clue about our future.
A lot of confident between us and i believe that our relationship will last forever.
However, problem that we could not solve, we even plan about break up in future.
He seems like very calm and easily accept the fact of breaking up. I felt so heart broken and i really wish to stop this relationship immediately because of his answer.
If you are not holding this believe why am i want to start?

The one who be with you for 4 years 5 years or plus will never be your husband.
The one who be with you for 3 months 4 months will the right choice.
That's why people always said :在错的时候,遇上对的人,在对的时候,遇上错的人。
The one you love the most will never be your forever partner.
The one who be you meet for 3/4 months who best SUIT you are not the one who you love the most.
When you find someone who you think is really suit, regardless time, you both will wish to get marry immediately.
This is life. I should always apply this theory around. Lol

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Toughest Semester to UK

So.. i suppose i have finally done my 3rd semester in advanced diploma.
So next semester, it will be my 2nd year of advance diploma.
This semester, as the lecture said, this is the toughest semester throughout the whole advanced diploma.
After this semester, you will be flying to UK already.
Like finally, i have done it.

However, i kinda worry on my exam. As i am taking 5 paper in this semester.
From the very first day until now, seriously, my stress have never away from me.
It has follow me from the first day, the lecture told us about our assignment, event, coursework and so on.
Until the real execution of our assignment, event and also mid-term or end-term test.
The stress never stop. Until today, the stress is getting more and more serious.
I think i got 2 weeks plus before my final exam which on 16 of august, my first paper - STATISTICS.

It seems that, it has been awhile for me to step into the examination hall because last semester is our internship.
I still remember the very semester of advance, i got a shocking result !
I never though my result would be so shit! sucks like shit!
Ever since that day, i tell myself, i think i am not those clever kind of student? And im not those hardworking student too. What should i do?

Shall i continue my confident? Or shall i study hard like the others, but that is not my style of study.
During this whole semester, i admit that this is the most hardworking time of myself throughout the entire life!


Chelsea Chan! You must be smart, must be rational, when it come to study, please study, i know now is raya time. But not for you to play.

Listen to your lectures! After this semester, you can fly to UK already.

Stay focus! Your target is waiting for you.
Chelsea Chan! Hwaiting! Jiayous!
I must go UK!!!!!!
 

Friday, December 7, 2012

为什么?


最近都很少update部落了...天天都在朋友家做功课, 做功课, 做功课
刚刚从台湾回来后, 到今天, 都没有什么出门逛逛. 也从台湾回来后, 都没有什么做工了.
一回来的那天, 不停不停得一直send profile. 希望快点有好消息. 可是一直都没有人打电话给我.
有, 都是叫我去interview, 我很累, 很失望, 本身自己都没有什么喜欢去面试了.因为懒惰和没有信心.一起的每次每次都没有什么中. 以前的我还是去.
结果有3次一次中而已. 知道人家不选我的时候, 真的很失望, 很伤心, 没有信心了.
总是觉得自己真的不够好看, 甚至有时候会怀疑倒地自己适不适合做freelance model.
真的很伤心, 最近去也去了几个面试, 特地带化装包去学校. 在班上, 全部人看着你的状况下-化装!
还有一次, 考试时候, 我特地做后面, 赶快把试卷做完, 然后就开始化装.
然后再赶去塔公车去面试, 结果-? (sorry dear, the client chosen another girl, anyway, thanks for coming ya)
那种心情, 真的是难受! 或许, 一直以来, 都是我自己过去有信心? 过分相信自己的能力? 太高攀自己了. 造成现在的我.
近期的pc fair看到很多认识的朋友都在做工, 而且她们做的, 我都有send profile去, 但是!
总是不中.

为什么?????
难道她们真的比我好看吗? 难道我真的那么糟糕吗???!!!
为什么都不是我???!!! 为什么我中的工期钱都很少???!!!
为什么? 难道我真的不适合做这分工??
很心痛, 有人知道吗?
一直以来的信心, 真的就被打败了!!!!!!!

我每天都祈祷, 我能象她们将, 工作天天来, 工钱高高!!
为什么她们可以, 我不可以???
为什么??? 我还是不相信我是属于不要看的那一类!!

有谁能了解我的心情?
希望, 十二月是个丰收月. 让我在去英国之前, 找到我要找到的钱