Thursday, April 10, 2014

I Don give a damn

I seriously do not understand, how could they survive in this house.
So freaking dirty, So freaking messy.
Okay, if you all did not give a damn, same goes to me.
Have a nice day and thank you.
May you die in this freaking dirty house. 

They eat and wipe the salt or whatever shit on the floor,
they throw their unwanted water or rubble strip on the floor,
they throw their shopping stuff on the floor until they want to wear it the next time,
they throw their socks on the floor once they got back from school,
they throw their books and homework on the floor and also their bags once they need it they take it up.
So typically, they actually did not have a cupboard, or wardrobe to put their stuff,
they only have the floor as their wardrobe.

Enjoy and have nice day.
I am very very very calculative, Yes i am
If you don give a damn why should i?

Yes, i can just wear my slipper everyday in my house, 
i also can put my own bags and stuff on the floor ON your bag.
I also can throw my unwanted food or the packet food packet on the floor, and also used tissues everywhere.

This is my house, yes, i will continue staying here for 1 month and i will go off.
Wish you all good luck and enjoy with this house. 

I don give a damn if you din. thanks 

Sunday, April 6, 2014

I will improve, i am trying

Is raining days recently, almost everyday was raining.
For me is a good thing as i am staying at home most of the time, i really enjoy this kind of weather when im having my sweet time on my bed and with my TV.

Recently spending is still going on, laptop, face, food and also for my future studies on coming may.
I earn and there come the spending.
After i done my thesis - final project for my advanced diploma life which is my last studies in Malaysia.
i am rotting in my house and waiting for job come once in a while.
Thesis, a project that every student must be done before they starts to work.
Thesis, a project that every student hate, that need to spend midnight time to work on it although they spent the entire day time.
Thesis, a project that cause student view more than 100 websites to get research, references and also words.
I seriously hate this stupid project, does it taught me anything after all? I din see much but only how to search online and how to do references and citation. ==

So after this stupid project, work come for myself. I am workaholic, why? because i like money. Duh? Who hate money isit? But i am scare to wear high heels. My pelvic problem is getting more and more serious.
The more i stand, the more i can feel the pain. Whenever i stand too long, i can feel my pelvic moved and some movement will cause pain!

I always dreamed, i need to dream to sleep, Get what i mean? I always need to imagine a story or situation before i sleep to lead me to my dream and sleep. They said this is not good, is not a good sleep, i did not actually rest my self.

Something happen in deep of my feeling,
Whenever i am alone, i think alot. Even though i am not alone, i also think alot ! LOL
I care, i get jealous. I always thought we are best friend, i though you were close to me, but? I see secret and i see something i cant understand happen between us. I saw some unknown message between you and another one. I felt so unhappy. LOL, sounds like i like her isit? haha, but i think thats what bestfriend should feel.

As a public relations practitioners, i am failed, i cant handle crisis, whenever crisis come, i will put blame on other. I will start complaining that the others cause this problem. Complain that why do the others does not being understanding, why the others does not being tolerate with each other.
But standing as the PR, why should't i be firmed and calm and settle the situation?
I want everyone to be happy, sometimes, i just cant handle it well, and make many people disappointed and sad. Haih............... I will improve, I am trying.

While working today, a staff chatting with me, and he asked what does you study? me: public relations, he: then what does you want to be in future? me: pr lo, social with others. communicate. he: but you yourself does not like to talk how does you gonna approach others and engage communicate with them? me ( start thinking, am i really not sociable? am i really not easy to engage) WHAT A BIG FAILURE WHEN ME MYSELF WANNA BE PR WHEN I CANT TALK? FML TO THE MAX
I am so sad when i heard what does he said, it was not a bad thing, but it really hurts me. I thought..........
Many questions appeared in my mind, Many negative comment and many situation appeared.
What i really do in my life? How does the others think about me? Am i really does not know how to communicate? Who am i? How can i survive in this mass communication industry if i am not sociable?
What im gonna do? What i need to do? How i need to act? Put down my heavy pride? I tried, but is hard.
Yes, i will improve, I am trying.

World is cruel.
Keep go on.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Something happen on someone in sometime

hmmm.. new year, new dream? new move? new vision? I think so.
But for me, I am still chasing my money for my life in United Kingdom.
今年年头,刚过完年。现在没有读书了,可说是没有去学校上课,呆在家里做thesis。
是蛮喜欢的,但是会想念学校,朋友,那种feel young的感觉。真怀念,我快不是学生了。

看到男朋友去了新加坡做工,我唯一每天都在期待的是赶快毕业去和他一起做工。
虽然现在还是一样,可是,回头看,身边的朋友。真的真的很让我舍不得我读书生活。
Work? I do not wish to work in office, but I wish to work in event line, another but i wish to have 8 hour sleep per day. Is a that greedy?

现在在等成绩,没有什么忙。很多东西想。

每个月的经期又来了,骨头又开始痛了。真的很痛,心更加痛。
22岁人,为什么别人可以穿高跟鞋,可以翘脚坐,盘坐,侧睡。我呢,什么都要直。
天真的很公平,我承认自问自己生活过的很美满,所以天要给点苦头我吃。
我,骨盆不正,经常酸痛,经常走路不正确,我甚至怀疑我有长短脚。
我很沮丧,我很伤心。

不孕的可能?我能做什么?我的未来能怎样?我怎么告诉我未来的老公?未来婆婆?
还是我真的就因为如此就孤独终老?

是,我想很多,我就是个很悲哀的人。总是想到最坏的一面。我真的想像不到以后的我。
很喜欢小孩,能怎样?该怎么办?

Many things to do,
Teeth,
Eye laser,
Backbone,
Face laser. All of these are actually an extra, however, in life, we always chasing for extra when we already have it.

This is life.

Good luck to myself in future.

#nowlistening
#saysomething